Try to answer this question without thinking for more than a second:  Do you want to be a star?

In the past I would have answered with a firm “no.”  I’ve never wanted to be famous.  I don’t want people to see me.  I don’t want to be visible.  I don’t want to be judged.  I’ll just hide in this corner, thanks.

Yes, I am an extrovert.  I get energy from interacting with others. And my work has always been for, about and through other people. I feel the most productive when my conversation partner says “a-ha” in recognition of an insight we created together.  But I’ve tried to be quiet about it.  And over time, as I’ve had kids, and perhaps as I’ve grown emotionally, I’ve needed more and more time alone.  Sometimes I think I’ve crossed the border into Introvert Land, and I get tempted to stay there.

Historically I’ve been woefully inconsistent about sending regular updates (i.e., annually seemed like an accomplishment) to clients and friends of connect2 Corporation.  But lately I have felt compelled to share my thoughts more openly.  I’ve been learning that my life purpose involves the spotlight, that my life lesson to feel comfortable using my voice is, not coincidentally, what I’m here to teach others as I learn it.  So I’ve committed to blogging/sending my ezine weekly.  Yikes: people may be able to see me in my corner.

Recently I’ve also learned that, according to the Wealth Dynamics Profile Test, I am best suited to play the “Star” game.  In other words, my best path as an entrepreneur is actually to focus on building my unique brand. As far as I can see, that brand would be me.  And everything I’ve been experiencing in my business and my life is a component of that brand.  Ex-squeeze me?  Baking powder?  Not the answer I expected.

Last week I had another star surprise:  an opportunity to share my message on a news program with 3 million viewers.  Scary but intriguing.  The invitation seemed like a sign.  If I’m offered more visibility, I should take it, I thought. Appearing on NECN Business Live to talk about how entrepreneurs can deal with fear is right up my alley.  (Who’s been more afraid than me?)  Anchor Beth Shelburne was gracious and kind; she put me at ease as soon as I walked into the studio.

Afterward, as expected, I received multiple comments from my local peanut gallery about how I looked and what I said.  While it’s hard for me to entirely ignore the critical remarks (I have no problem ignoring the compliments) I see it all as practice.  As a test.  As the Universe saying “Are you sure?  Are you sure you want to put yourself out there and open yourself to all the judgment?”

My answer is clear.  No, I don’t want to put myself in the limelight.  I don’t want to be visible.  I don’t want to live my truth in public.  Yet I am realizing that I feel called to.  So I am open.  Do I want to be a star?  No.  Am I willing to try?  To my surprise, my answer to that question now is yes.

Stay tuned…

I had a great morning, perhaps because I combined a few of my personal passions into one experience.  For some reason, it’s a recent insight for me that I can amp up my personal time by layering activities I love into one.  Height of optimized efficiency or desire-for-joy run amuck?  I’ll reflect here to draw a conclusion.

With the cool, dry, sunny weather we’re experiencing in Boston, the day seemed perfect for a bike ride.  In anticipation I refreshed my bike for the season yesterday.  So by the time the kids left for school, I was in my padded bike shorts and fully ready to ride into the sunshine.  Biking always takes me back to the feeling of freedom and joy I experienced riding my bike as a child.  I could go wherever I wanted, at my pace, and take in or tune out the scene as I passed it by, depending on my preference.  Sure, I can do that today in my mini-van too, but it’s not the same as when I’m personally powering my ride.

I watch very little TV these days and rarely listen to music with lyrics that I personally program.  (My first-grade son requests I tune the radio to Kiss108 whenever we get in the car – how quickly they grow. When I do listen to music of my choosing, it’s usually from my Ipod play list “Music to Work By” – all soothing instrumentals.  Now playing: Spirit Call by Nakai/Demars).   In general it’s been helpful for me to stay present to my own story by saying goodbye-for-now to many TV characters and musicians I long followed.

The one show I have discovered recently that I just love is Glee.  Last week’s episode was, in my opinion, one of the top two so far.  Teacher extraordinaire Mr. Shu assigned his students to select and perform a piece that speaks his/her voice – right up my alley. I loved the episode so much that I downloaded the performances to my Ipod, and this morning, on my bike ride, I replayed the songs.  (If you haven’t yet heard Chris Colfer’s rendition of Rose’s Turn from Gypsy, your week may not be complete!)

So there I was, biking for the first time in 2010, listening to great music performed by a super-talented cast, and communing with the birds and chipmunks.  I felt so grateful to be outdoors, to be an entrepreneur balancing work I love with living joyfully, to feel inspired by nature and creative arts and my own physical abilities.  I felt — not just thought, but felt – immense gratitude for all that is good, and for the opportunities I have to help others voice their brilliance and power.  And with that deep feeling I knew what I’d write about today.

What beloved activities can you layer to create a high-joy experience? I’d love for you to spread the inspiration by sharing them via blog comments or email.

Over the past two weeks, I’ve experienced especially loud mind chatter about my desire for self-improvement in all areas of my life.  I am an active seeker, and while some days this is one of my better qualities, other days it’s just tiring.  I realized late last week that I’m making myself crazier than necessary by frequently moving my targets, just as I am about to achieve my goals.  (For example, at my highest weight I wanted to fit in size 12 clothes, but just as size 12 became comfortable I wanted to be a size 10).

Fortunately I have outstanding mentors, one of whom suggested to me Friday that I create a list of standards for my life and business.  After some soul-searching, here’s my new list:

1. No beating myself up.
2. No “eating to kill” my feelings.
3. No shutting out my children.
4. No day without fresh air, silence, and movement.
5. No judging myself on my number of action items open.
6. No decisions based on shoulds or fear of lack.
7. No second-guessing my choices.
8. No work that’s not easy, lucrative and fun.
9. No squelching my inner “fun mama with the money.”

So these are my new success metrics.  If I want help making a quick decision, or if I’d like to evaluate my performance fairly (as a self-employed person, I frequently notice my boss is very harsh!), I’ll use these.  I’ve also asked a handful of my close colleagues and friends to hold me accountable to these standards.  And now, because I’m continuing to practice honesty, openness, and willingness, I’d like to ask you, as a member of my community, to support me by holding me accountable. If you see me, hear me, sense me not living up to these, please point it out to me in a direct but gentle way!

What are your standards, for yourself and your business?  (connect2 hint:  for entrepreneurs, they should be the same!)