Today’s Guest Blogger is the brilliant Gretchen Rubin. Her book The Happiness Project is her memoir of the year she spent test-driving different methods and ideas for how to be happier. Along the way, she found that some attempts to make ourselves happier can actually do more harm than good. Take five and see if these bring you happiness or just make your anger or sadness last longer.

Everyone has a few tricks for beating the blues – things you do when you’re feeling down to try to boost your mood. It turns out, however, that several of the most popular strategies don’t actually work very well in the long term.

Beware if you are tempted to try any of the following:

1. Comforting yourself with a “treat.” Often, the things we choose as “treats” aren’t good for us. The pleasure lasts a minute, but then feelings of guilt, loss of control, and other negative consequences just deepen the lousiness of the day. So when you find yourself thinking, “I’ll feel better after I have a few beers…a pint of ice cream…a cigarette…a new pair of jeans,” ask yourself – will it REALLY make you feel better? It might make you feel worse. In particular, beware of…

2. Letting yourself off the hook. I’ve found that I sometimes get a real happiness boost from giving something up, quitting something, or breaking a bad habit. For example, I feel very happy about having given up fake food. When you’re feeling down, you might be tempted to let yourself off the hook, to think, “I’ll allow myself to skip my run today, I need a break.” In fact, sticking to a resolution will boost your sense of self-esteem and self-control. So NOT letting yourself off the hook might do more to boost your happiness.

3. Turning off your phone. Studies show that extroverts and introverts alike get a mood boost from connecting with other people. Although it can be tempting to isolate yourself when you’re feeling unhappy, you’re better off making plans with friends or family.

4. Expressing your negative emotions. Many people believe in the “catharsis hypothesis” and think that expressing anger is healthy-minded and relieves their feelings. Not so. Studies show that expressing anger only aggravates it; as Plutarch observed, “Anger, while in its beginning, often can be ended by silence, or neglect.” I’ve certainly found this to be true; once I get going, I can whip myself into a fury. It’s better to stay calm.

5. Staying in your pajamas all day. One of the most helpful things I’ve learned in my happiness research is that although we think that we act because of the way we feel, in fact, we often feel because of the way we act. As improbable as this sounds, it really works. Sometimes it can be fun to hang out in your sweats all day, but if you’re feeling lethargic, powerless, or directionless, not getting dressed is going to make you feel worse. Put on your clothes—including your shoes—so you feel prepared for whatever the day might offer. While you’re at it, make your bed.

Have you ever tried to cheer yourself up using a strategy that just made you feel worse in the end?  What are your effective ways to beat the blues?

I love featuring shining examples of Brilliance-Based Businesswomen and the stories behind their careers.  This Thanksgiving, I am especially grateful for those I consider my dear friends.  Enjoy these reflections by Paula Gregorowicz on how she became the Intuitive Intelligence Coach.

 Briefly, what are the highlights of your career story?

I spent over 17 years working in corporate in a variety of disciplines.  Yet since day one I just knew that  it wasn’t the right fit.  Like many people I thought there had to be something wrong with me.  So I changed career fields a few times (from auditing and accounting/finance to information technology to web development) and yet something was still definitely missing.  It wasn’t until I started doing my own personal growth work that I started to uncover the fundamental truth that there wasn’t anything “wrong” with me…simply that I wasn’t in the best place for me to do the work I am meant to do.  It took some deep work such as shadow work and training under bestselling author Debbie Ford and stepping up to receive support from my own coaches and mentors that empowered me to see myself in a whole new way and light a path forward for me.  I never would have been willing to consider, let alone make, the leap from corporate to business owner without the foundational personal work that I did (and continue to do).

As best as you currently understand it, what are you here to do?  Who are you here to serve?  What difference do you make for your clients?

I believe I am here to make alchemy possible. What that means is I am a catalyst and support for people living their best life by discovering and successfully creating the work they are most meant to do in the world.  I am here to help them break free of the struggle of trying to make the “right” decision and to breakthrough all the limitations and “shoulds” that keep them stuck … stuck in jobs that don’t fit, in businesses that don’t serve them, or in a life not fully lived.

Those that I serve are typically:

• women who find themselves in a job they hate (or in a job that they used to love but no longer jazzes them up) and want to do something new, whether that is a career change or starting a business;
• women who are starting up their business and attempting to navigate a whole new world of needed skills and confidence (from being an employee); or
• women who have been in their business for a while (as owner or employee) and simply feel like something is missing and it’s time to reinvent.

My clients consistently tell me that the biggest difference Intuitive Intelligence™ makes in their life is that it helps them see themselves and their situations in a whole new light.  With more clarity about who they are and what they REALLY want they are able to give themselves permission to make wiser decisions about their personal and professional lives.  Making these decisions with ease and without all the guilt means they experience more prosperity, are able to create and capitalize on new opportunities, and frankly get to rejoice in the journey along the way.

How do you define “success” for yourself?

Success for me is all about having an impact in a way that I feel great about…using my experiences, talents, and humor in a way that inspires others to do the things that inspire them.  There are so many things I love to do that variety, flexibility, and freedom are an important component of my business and life and crucial for me to feel successful. 

What changes have you made or experienced in your life and business that have enabled you to experience more ease?

The biggest component has been learning how to give myself permission.  You can really fill in the blank with lots of things (As in, I give myself permission to _____.) Especially when you own your own business like I do, there isn’t anyone there to tell you “you can’t”.  Well, maybe there are people telling you that, but you don’t have to listen!  So often I’ve found that it has been me and me alone creating any dis-ease in my life and business. 

I’ve also brought on team members to help me in my business.  As a recovering control freak this was a big and necessary step. What I’ve learned is that there are some things they do SO much better than me and it is a win-win-win (for me, them, AND my clients!)

What would you love your next breakthrough to be?

I would love my next breakthrough to be for the Intuitive Intelligence™ work that I created to reach more women…women who really want to make the most of their one precious life…personally and professionally.  I would love to take this work with the right group of people to more experiential and adventure-based learning (partnering with some awesome colleagues of mine to do so!)… so women start banishing the words “should”, “I can’t” and “maybe someday” from their vocabulary and start living in a way that makes them come alive and as a result have a bigger impact on the world in all they do.

What brings you joy?

Being in nature – I love to hike, kayak, cycle and travel to great places.  There is nothing quite like being in magnificent beauty whether near my home or in a totally awesome place (like the national parks). When I have my camera by my side and can share it all with my partner of almost 20 years…that is total joy!  I’m also a huge animal lover, so my cat and other critters bring me joy and humor!

As a successful Brilliance-Based Businesswoman, what’s the best piece of advice you have for other aspiring and active Brilliance-Based Businesswomen out there?

Do the things you think you cannot do.  There is no such thing as a “final” or “right” decision… so don’t get stuck in indecision or analysis paralysis.  Sure you want to do your due diligence, but usually it is our fear, not our lack of information, that keeps us stuck.  Start today and live fully because tomorrow is promised to no one!

What’s the best way for others to learn more about what you do?  

The best way for folks to stay connected with me is through my website and blog located at http://www.thepaulagcompany.com.  There you’ll find the free “Your Own Uniqueness: The Path to Purpose, Prosperity, and Playfulness” report – a powerful and in-depth exploration of how you can turn to the quiet wisdom inside to create more clarity on the work you’re most meant to do in the world and experience more success on your own terms. This report shows you why a mindful approach based on your personal experience and a deeper knowing is the most important success factor for success in today’s changing business climate.

Folks may also want to check out the inspired collection of experts I am bringing together in The 12 Days of Intuitive Intelligence™ starting December 1^st.  Check out all the details at http://intuitiveintelligencecoaching.com/summit.

Today we present Topic #3 of the Brilliance-Based Blog Panel series.  Four of my favorite Brilliance-Based Businesswomen come monthly to share their perspectives on topics near and dear to the hearts and minds of women entrepreneurs.  I welcome you to add to the dialogue by commenting below on today’s topic.

As Brilliance-Based Businesswomen, what technology tools do you recommend to enhance your personal and business productivity? We asked the connect2 Brilliance-Based Blog Panel to respond: 

Stefanie Frank - Initiative Based Writing

The tool that enhances my productivity the most is the timer on my Android phone.

When I sit down to write and strategize for clients and for my own business, something nearly always comes up to try and block the creativity. Resistance, Writers Block, Distraction, Procrastination . . . you’ve likely been there yourself.

Rather than fight this (as I did for years writing as a lawyer and during the first years after founding Initiative Based Writing™), I now manage it by setting the timer.

The moment I set the timer, I’m free. Free to create whatever draft at whatever stage it’s in without judgment, distraction or worry. Free from the phone, email, Facebook, Skype, and texting (all great tools by the way).

The “container” that the timer creates helps me focus. Opens me up to create. Frees me from distraction. The container the timer creates is simple.

Another tool I just discovered is the Omm Writer Dana, a no cost downloadable tool designed to free writers from distraction. On first use, I love it! It’s very, very simple. http://www.ommwriter.com/

Simple is often best when it comes to technology, productivity, and creativity.

Jennifer Urezzio - Know Soul’s Language

There are so many technology tools that help me both on a personal and business level.  My co-panelists will name a few but I feel I want to focus on stepping away from technology.

Often we can utilize all these wonderful inventions to sabotage ourselves and to avoid being still.  Take time to pause and have a conversation with your Soul.  This is the real key to creating successful personal and business lives. 

 So take a moment and check in to determine if you are using your technology to keep you separate from the world. If you received a yes, set some time aside just to be with you.  After you have enjoyed your own company, go out and enjoy someone else’s.  Arrange to connect in person and set the intention to be present.  When we connect on a deep level, magic happens in our lives.  

Christine Silvey - Empowered You

Thank goodness for technology tools…that’s all I’ve gotta say!

But for a tool to be fully embraced by me it has to stick to my guideline of helping me simplify my life and keep it flowing with grace and ease.  Here are a few of my favorites:

• Google Calendar – love it! I have multiple calendars I need to manage and this helps me keep them organized, visible and easy to read with color identification for each calendar.
• EchoSign – another great tool to easily facilitate document signatures between clients and me.
• Dropbox – great for file sharing between office staff and easy access of files while on the road.
• Skype – love it! My practice has easily gone international because of this little gem.
• Tungle.me – Makes scheduling with multiple participants easy breezy.

Bryn Johnson – Bryn Johnson Consulting

I sit here in my office and I look around. There’s a Macbook- my lifeline. There’s an iPhone – so I can talk, text and email while also making reservations and talking on social media all from the line at Starbucks.

Inside each of these machines are applications that allow me to be more efficient. Here’s just a few:

37 Signals as the project management and company infrastructure site used by myself and team. It makes business operations so grand!

Hootsuite to manage my social media throughout the week so I can deliver on my promises to colleagues and collaborators when I say I will promote for them. It allows me to schedule tweets most especially while tweeting live and in real time on the other things going on in my life and business.

Kicklite is the NYC Subway map I can access underground to reroute my trip in a moment’s notice when there is a delay. Saves me so much time.

Zipcar is my answer to a quick business or personal trip. Leasing these cars by the hour straight out of a local garage allows me to get to client presentations, speaking gigs, shopping and vet trips with no hassle. And I can reserve and extend a reservation right from my iPhone.

How are your technology systems supporting your productivity?  High operational efficiency can enable you to increase your joy and ease on a day-to-day basis, at work and at home. If this post has resonated with you, today’s the day for you to take one important step toward living with more joy, ease and prosperity. To find out more about how you can propel your growth by up leveling your operations, visit BBBSalon.com or email us to arrange a brief one-on-one chat. 

Stefanie Frank is an entrepreneur and triathlete who lives, works and trains in southern Nevada, USA.  She supports entrepreneurs and small business owners to write clear, influential, inspiring marketing that not only gets bottom line results but is aligned with each client’s big vision of why she’s in business.  Stef writes awesome content for private clients and has created an affordable high level “do it yourself” writing and content marketing program for creative, forward thinking entrepreneurs who believe in the power of great writing to help effect change in the world.  Visit Stef at http://initiativebasedwriting.com.

Jennifer Urezzio is the spiritual director and founder of Know Soul’s Language – away to create a conscious connection with your Soul.  She guides leaders and healers to create a more conscious deeper relationship with themselves and the Divine.  Download Jennifer’s free report 5 Days to a More Powerful Life with Soul Language at http://www.knowsoulslanguage.net/?page_id=1360.

Christine Silvey is a highly sought-after Master Coach, Transformation Leader, Spiritual Mentor, Healer, Speaker, Trainer and forthcoming author with specialties in evolving consciousness, leadership and communication effectiveness, business building mastery, and transcending psycho-emotional-energetic dynamics.

For over 10 years, Christine has guided men and women from around the globe to GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD AND INTO YOUR LIFE™. Through her highly effective coaching programs, Christine can guide YOU to transcend the Thinking Mind and open to a New Way of Being in the world.  To learn more about Christine, and how she can assist you with deep change ~ profound results™, visit http://www.empoweredyou.com.scending psycho-emotional-energetic dynamics.

Bryn Johnson spent 20 years in Corporate America as a passionate leader of high-performing teams and endless multi-million dollar projects.  ONE of her many secrets for success?  Her ability to take complicated, often impossibly overwhelming information, and to quickly make it simple and fun.  She is now bringing that same passion for planning and collaboration, along with her laser-focused implementation strategies, to her clients and broader online community.  Visit Bryn at http://www.brynjohnson.com.