Iâ€™ve been in pain the past few days.Â The actions of two people close to me reopened old emotional scar tissue. Iâ€™m hurting.Â So much so that I question the value of moving forward with at least one of these relationships.Â That is my truth and, yes, Iâ€™m writing it publicly.Â
Many people ask me why Iâ€™m willing to write so personally.Â They are concerned that putting myself â€śout thereâ€ť is somehow dangerous for me.Â Could be.Â Still, I have multiple reasons for doing so.Â Here’s why Iâ€™m committed to writing this way, as a Voice of Vulnerability for Brilliance-Based Businesswomen.
First, as you may know, I teach that Values are a core component of your Unique Definition of Success. Â One of my primary values is to live and tell my truth. Â Living my life and providing my services in integrity are absolute musts for me. If I’m not sharing my feelings, I’m unable to functionÂ fully.Â
Second, one of my Five Wishes (Gay Hendricks) for my life is that â€śI use everything I experience and learn to heal, in service.â€ťÂ It is my deep belief that as I grow, I have the opportunity, even a responsibility, to help others do the same.Â Itâ€™s part of my purpose in this world.Â
In contrast to the first two, my third reason is not particular to me. Â Brene Brown, researcher and author of The Gifts of ImperfectionÂ writes, “Courage originally meant ‘To speak oneâ€™s mind by telling all oneâ€™s heart’… Courage is about putting our vulnerability on the lineâ€¦ Courage has a ripple effect. Every time we choose courage, we make everyone around us a little better and the world a little braver.” Â When I tell my heart through my writing, I inspire others to tell theirs. Â And when we bravely tell our truth to each other, we connect.
Brene definesÂ connection as “the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued…” Â She continues, “We are wired for connection. Itâ€™s in our biology. From the time we are born, we need connection to thrive emotionally, physically, spiritually, and intellectually.” Â On these terms, connection seems necessary for survival. Â (Images of Tom Hanks and his soccer ball in Cast Away are coming to mind for me now.)
So by definition, it’s courageous for me to tell you of the deep emotional pain I’m feeling today. Â Yet at this point in my life it no longer feels optional. Â I write vulnerably to function fully, to inspire healing in others, and to connect. I write for my survival, and possibly even for yours. Â
What do you do that others consider dangerous for you? Â Comment in the space below so we can connect about it.