This shift feels major. Like the times I declared I would train for and run a 5k, and did it every time. Like the time in 2008 I declared I would start taking care of myself again, after too many years of people pleasing. Like the time at the end of 2009 when I left my largest client and relaunched my business identity. But this time, it’s more personal than ever.

January through mid-April this year, I felt so angry, so sad, so hurt. I wrestled with forgiveness in my heart.

Eight days ago I weighed and measured my breakfast food. Nothing I ate contained flour. Nothing I ate contained sugar. Nothing I ate contained corn. I announced to my children that I was ready to reclaim my well being. I chopped some vegetables for lunch, mixed them with olive oil and seasonings, and placed them in the steamer above my rice cooker. It smelled delicious. I ate them for lunch and dinner. I continued this for seven more days. And I’m continuing again today. One day at a time.

I did not come to this new place alone. Recent powerful conversations with many people, including but not limited to Linda, Stef, Michelle, Bryn, Chris, Naomi, Barbara, Ginger, Erin, Cindy, Marcie, Yoojin, Ruth, Karen, and Eileen, have led me here. As has prayer. As did Jennifer Zwiebel’s Into the Light event May 5th.

This morning I watched this TEDx talk by Marcus Sheridan, one of my blogging inspirations. At the end, he challenges everyone who hears his talk to “allow truth and transparency to change everything.”  If you’ve been reading my blogs for a while, you know I’m committed. Marcus has led me to wonder, how do I take it to the next level?

What questions do you have about my Brilliance-Based Business and Life, or how to evolve your own? Post them here and I will do my best to answer via blog or vlog.

The collection of answers I received felt comforting and inspiring.  And the sheer number of responses helped me feel less alone.  

In the aftermath of the Boston Bombings, I suspect we could all use some comfort, inspiration and connection. So I’m sharing what I received. Thank you to everyone who contributed wisdom and advice. 

Go on Facebook.

Drop everything that isn’t essential to survival in favor of resting and recovering. After the rest, you will know what to do next. But don’t go beyond the moment you are in, or do more than is absolutely necessary. And believe that what you are doing/able to do is enough. Also, I look to the animal kingdom and remember that perhaps the human race on the whole expects too much… And perhaps that will be our downfall! Eat. Sleep. Breathe.

I get someone to listen to me, really listen as I talk about just how hard it all is. No interruptions, no advice, just listen and remind me sometimes that I am smart, I am good, and I will figure it out. After shedding tears or having an adult tantrum, I feel much better.

Sometimes just a LONG walk…

Drop as much as you can, knowing you can pick it back up again . . . re-frame things moment by moment if you have to . . .

Make a list of what NEEDS to get done. Prioritize by importance. Then allow yourself 30 mins to go outside with your kids & look for shapes in the clouds or play “I Spy”. When you get back in you’ll feel prepared to tackle the list. When you have another moment, think about if it IS too much or just feels that way. If it is too much, start to say “no” when you need to.

Seriously prioritize…starting with your health and sanity first….everything comes after that…xoxo

www.getsomeheadspace.com has free guided meditations

Can you go for a massage?

Hang out with my kids, relax in front of the TV, answer in short emails, and prioritize tasks by placing them in my calendar according to when I can get to them.

I’m there now, and my strategy is: keep kids going with their routine, hiring help if needed; focus on what is both urgent and impt and/or reflects on my professional reputation; anything that seems impt but not urgent schedule in task list for doing or ignoring later; dump anything urgent but not impt; keep appts relating to health/sanity; express sincere thanks to the many people I’m calling on for support – and delegate to them! Finally, I’m grateful for my luck/brilliance that I stocked the fridge with tons of healthy food before the sh*t hit the fan, so I’m controlling one thing in my control by eating what I really need. And letting the kids eat lots of Mac and cheese. And much of this is thx to tools and systems and beliefs that you helped me put in place. And tonight when J asked me to stay in bed with her, I gave her/us a good 10 minutes before attacking the next set of items.

All of you watch a great movie and fall asleep on your bed!

What do *you* do when it all feels too much?  Share below with our community of Brilliance-Based Businesswomen and Careerwomen, so we can all have an expansive toolkit easily at hand. 

The layers of adaptation I described earlier include Revising  Priorities and Reconsidering Self Care. In today’s post I’ll address the additional aspects I’ve identified. I’m curious to know whether, as you reflect on moments of transition you’ve experienced, these resonate with you as well.

Managing My Son’s Medical Needs

This is the obvious one.  Taking care of my son takes more time than it used to. We have new routines and action plans that we follow daily. It takes extra time to get through the day now. Plus we have lots of appointments to travel to and attend, including Diabetes Nurse Educator meetings, nutritionist visits, social work sessions, insulin pump class, and doctor’s visits. And some activities that fall into this category don’t even directly involve A, like consulting with the insurance company, scheduling appointments, and stocking a myriad of supplies.  Plus there’s all the thinking and analyzing that we do all day long – what caused him to go low?  Why is he high now?  Diabetes is a different definition of insanity: you can do the same things over and over and still get different results.

Supporting My Loved Ones

Another layer of adaptation I’m experiencing: helping people I love cope with the diagnosis. A. has feelings about having this illness, its impact on his life, and how he is handling everything. His sister K. has feelings about how all this impacts her; even though her health isn’t any different and there’s low likelihood that she too will have this disease, her life is forever changed by it. It’s my role as their mom to help them both express themselves. Typically they articulate and act out their concerns at bedtime, when I’m the most spent.  We’ve been getting to bed an hour later than we used to.

Getting Farther Behind

My initial post in this series addressed this layer at length. In short, we each have only 168 hours per week, and that’s if we’re lucky. Given all these additional activities, lots of things in my life and business just weren’t getting done for a while there. I am grateful to have found fantastic new members of my Super Support Team to help my family and connect2 get caught up on the most important of these.

Educating Myself and Others

Then there’s all the learning. I’m still reading and learning as much as I can absorb about T1D. And an important part of my role as parent is to educate others who love him and/or work with him – at his school, Hebrew School, sports teams, playdates, medical centers, etc. There’s a lot to keep up with and to keep others in the loop about too.

Experiencing My Feelings and Coping with Others’ Reactions

Some people, including members of my family, have tried to help by telling me this really isn’t that big of a deal. They know, they say, because they’re aware of others with T1D. When they tell me this, I feel dismissed. They’re trying to take the weight out of the situation, but it’s not realistic.  As I’ve connected with dozens of people with T1D in recent months, adults and kids, not one of them has said anything like “dealing with this eventually becomes no big deal; just wait six months and it will become so routine you’ll practically forget you have it.” Type 1 Diabetes is not like a crockpot; you can’t set it and forget it.  

I’ve had a lot of feelings in the past three months, most of which I’ve struggled to express, either because I don’t make the time or because I’m just plain scared of them.  As an extrovert, sometimes I can best get in touch with my feelings when I express them to others.  Feeling ignored or minimized gets in the way.  I am most grateful for people listening and validating however we feel in a given moment, just being present for us without judging our views or proposing solutions.

In sum, change is time consuming.  It’s not just that now we have shots and glucose checks to do every day.  This is a new world for us, far more complex than it may seem at first glance.  Adapting to it takes time, perhaps even a lifetime.  When you’ve entered a new phase of life, have you seen such layers?